Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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