i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
