You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
