If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize