Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
