and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
