walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
