he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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