Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize