she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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