her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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