I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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