I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
