fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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