Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
