I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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