4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
