I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize