yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
