so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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