Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
