His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
