It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
