She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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