Your tits are I can't wait for
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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