Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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