Where is the hickey?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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