Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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