I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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