Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
