he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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