yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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