dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
