Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
