I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
