i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
