So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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