Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
