did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
