i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
