Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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