She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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