i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
