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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  haha what'd she say

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men

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• (310): View more from California

  I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life

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