Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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