Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
