I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
