Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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