Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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