I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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