yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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