i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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