Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
