you guys were way drunker than both of me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
