Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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