There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
