if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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