we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
