with your own penis?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
