I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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