he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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